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"Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine." Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." That's very fair, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all..." Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:1. The DNA all matches.2. There are no dental records.A blonde calls Delta. He said," what have we here? I thought a guy lived in this house. At least that's what the paperwork says." It didn't dawn on him that I was the guy. He said that it must be his lucky day finding a pretty girl waiting for him on his last stop. He introduced himself but I didn’t pay much attention. I was heavily embarrassed that I had been caught. He was a nice looking guy, white/Hispanic mix, in good shape and about 6' 1".He noticed what I had on television and asked if he could stay a while. I guess I must of accidently hit “mute” instead of “off”. I said, "Stay awhile?" "I don't even know you." He said that I would get to know him if I wanted him to keep my little secret. I felt I didn't have much choice at this point and to be honest… he was a handsome guy. I think my buzz and the videos I was watching kind of made me a little vulnerable. He asked if I could get him a drink. I didn't have but a few wine coolers left so I offered him a beer. I gave it to him and I started to sit.
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